Lions Don't Lose Sleep Over the Opinions of Sheep...

Hello there! 

It has been a while since I have posted anything on the blog but today is the day! :)

With Christmas under way tomorrow, so many people talk about the "Spirit of Christmas" or the "Spirit of Giving"...or my favourite, "putting CHRIST in Christmas" ...now that is wonderful and there are so many people who truly do live by this motto, but at the same time there are the select few who may not.. I have decided the ratio is 10 bad to 1000 good, but my goodness can those 10 make a stink! 

With that said throughout this last while and especially in the past week I have talked with some of my closest friends about some of the trials I have had to face resulting from Jeff's passing.  I can honestly say one of the HARDEST things I have had to deal with has been the people around me! Crazy right!? I am sure I am not alone on this as many people have gone through these sorts of things and are going through their own personal trials right now - I know I am not alone with how I feel.  So for my Christmas gift to you all I would love to share with you the amazing advice that I have been given! If you are going through your own trial at the moment, have gone through something where you can relate, or if your trial is just around the corner...I hope you can find peace and strength from my words and that you can keep you head up and be strong just like I have been encouraged to be!

Be Brave

During the trials in my life I have literally found that there is no other option then to just be brave.  A letter from my Mom confirmed this.  Many people have said to me...how are you still doing this? How are you working? How did you not just drop everything and move in with you parents? Well, even though I may have WANTED to, that just isn't really logical if you ask me. The Lord doesn't give us any trials we can't overcome (sometimes I have to question what he thinks I am made of).  So if the Lord knows I can do this...then I might as well make him proud. I have to be brave, I have to keep my head up and keep pressing on.  It is hard. And every person grieves differently.  Most days I just want to lay in my bed and cry and hide, but I know that is not what I am supposed to be doing. We have to let our trials make us stronger, braver, better, and smarter - we can't let them break us. Easier said then done I feel but I know Jeff wouldn't want me to quit life at the age of 20.  So I get up each morning and I put on a brave face for him, and by the end of the day I can be proud of myself for making it through another day.

Lions Don't Lose Sleep Over the Opinions of Sheep

A conversation with a good friend led her to tag me in a photo that said this...Lions Don't Lose Sleep Over the Opinions of Sheep.  I had heard this before and at first thought, "Wow"! What a powerful statement...then I chuckled to myself when I thought of myself as a lion! Ha. I have no idea why I thought it was so funny.  But I told myself that every time I heard a creative, new story someone was telling about my life - I was going to look at myself in the mirror and tell myself I was a lion.  Their opinions don't matter, their stories don't matter, the fact that they feel it necessary to dedicate time out of their day to speak about me....well that just makes them sheep.  (I have nothing against sheep, but you know what I mean ;) )  So I have to be brave, I have to keep repeating to myself the wonderful Dr. Suess quote that says, "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." People will talk, its human nature - but at the end of the day the only opinion of you that matters...is YOURS!  

If They Are Talking About You They Are Leaving Someone Else Alone

An incredible thought another good friend shared with me was the concept of..."if they are talking about you they are leaving someone else alone".  Now, I had to think on that one for a few moments - but how powerful is that? Or maybe I just thought it was powerful...but it really hit me.  I am a pretty strong person. I know who I am, and what others say about me may sting for a moment but at the end of the day I shake it off like a duck with water on its back. It is just who I am - life has forced me to become that way.  But there are many people who are not strong, and who are completely battered and torn at the end of the day by the words spoken about them.  So if the creative tales that are being spread about you are saving someone else from pain and suffering....that is a pretty positive twist on an icky situation!  Talk about taking one for the team! I would say that was some humbling advice, and I will constantly remind myself of that.  If you can be brave and think of yourself as a lion...then you will have the strength to carry a little bit of someone else's burden...there is always a "glass half full" way to think about things.

Focus On The Good

Now this last one didn't come from a specific person but more so my family in general...I have been taught to think like this my whole life and I have a Grandma who is absolutely amazing at finding the positives in horrible situations. So I feel as if I was very lucky to have this mentality.  Many of you who have me on Facebook have probably seen my occasional "happy rant".  When I wrote my first "thank-you" on Facebook the day of Jeff's passing - I decided that I was going to say thank you more throughout this trial then I ever had in my life.  I made it a goal! So every time I am having a bad day...whether I am missing Jeff like mad or I am dealing with some crazy business...I force myself to sit down and say thank you to someone. Whether it is a phone call, text, blog post or on Facebook - that is my first thing I have to do. I do this because by the end I have completely forgotten why I was so mad or sad in the first place! When you think about all that you have been given - it helps you forget, or at least think differently, about the things that you don't have or the things that are causing you a little strife.  

I would give ANYTHING to just talk with Jeff. To hold his hand and kiss his hair and see his perfect little ears and blue eyes one more time. Even typing that made the flood gates open...O boy.  But I know that one day there will be good that comes from this.  Jeff doesn't have to live in this wayward world any more! He is perfect, he is safe.  He is back where he needs to be, he just beat us all to it!  

All we have to do is look for the tiniest positive and talk it up! Be SO grateful. Thank those around you. Love those around you and make sure that they know it.

I wish you all a very merry Christmas and best wishes in the new year! 

Dakota