I didn't plan on writing this. I didn't plan on saying anything. I didn't think I could.
But as the texts, and messages have started to appear on my phone my brain has just been flooded with emotions, memories - and immense gratitude.
I don't even know where to begin as I sit here and think about the past year, even the past two years of my life.
The Lord works in mysterious ways.
I have so many questions that I will never receive answers to until I can one day stand face to face with the Lord and ask, "why?". But no one knows when that day will come. And until it does I am so grateful for the incredible peace and love that I have felt during the past year - not only from my Heavenly Father but from SO SO many of you. You are all so amazing. Many not even friends but acquaintances, or complete strangers who took a moment to tell me they were thinking of me.
Death is hard. It is so hard. It feels so final. Even though I believe this is not the end it is still so hard to go on without those we love. It is especially hard when someone's life is cut short so early. There are so many things they will never experience. So many things left on their list of to dos. It is so devastating. A person could focus on that alone and become completely crippled by it. Why go on if they no longer get to?
I have debated that over and over in my mind. Why keep going? Why live without them?
But then that little voice in the back of my head whispers the same phrase again and again...because there are so many left here on earth to live for.
Those left here make life worth living.
We never realize the power and importance of friendships, love, and service until we are placed in the midst of a difficult trial.
After someone passes we often hear people say to "hold your loved ones a little tighter today" - that is because tragedy brings to light what is really truly important. It reminds of all that we have - or do not have - and we appreciate it. We are grateful.
Jeff's passing influenced people around the world. His story was shared and heard by many. One small town Southern Alberta boy, with bright blue eyes, touched thousands of lives. His story hit home for so many. He left a legacy - his love for hunting, sports, his family and friends. He will always be remembered as the boy who had enough passion for ten people his size. He will never be forgotten. And he will always be loved.
I know that my special blue eyed angel has been watching over me the past year. I have felt him near. I have learned so much from him.
I have been taught by so many of you - as you have shared your stories, your trials and achievements with me - I have grown to love so many. The empty, ugly spot in my heart was filled with a different kind of love. A love and appreciation for the hard things in life - because if we let them - those hard things make us beautiful. They make us different. They make us special. They make us survivors.
I have to remind myself all the time that I can do hard things. I can do this. Why do I think I can do it? Because of all of you! You told me I could. You offered my family and I your support, your prayers, your love, your hugs and words of encouragement. So we are doing it. We take it day by day. We struggle and have moments of weakness but are quickly lifted up by the amazing spirits around us.
There is a good chance that if you are reading this you have followed us through our journey over the last year...
This post if for you!
We thank you from the very bottom of our hearts - and we will never forget the influence that you have had on our lives.
We love you so much...
I love you so much...
Thank you.
Dakota & The Passey's
