Hello friends,
It has been a while...life gets in the way of things sometimes.
I thought I would check in with all of you who are wondering if I am still alive! ;)
I am still here, still kicking!
I wanted to share with you, something that has been on my mind for the last few weeks...actually I think that I have felt this way ever since "that day". So here it is...Please feel free to share this if you know of someone who might need it.
When an "atomic bomb" is dropped on your life - and within moments everything is different - it is like time stands still. Literally, not a thing matters. Food, sleep, your job, the world around you...all of these things just seem to fade into a blur. And there you are - having an outer body experience as you look over the remnants of what once was your life, your plans, your everything. It is hard to describe unless you have actually been there for yourself. But what is even harder is accepting the fact that outside of that "moment" that you are in...life still goes on.
Life still goes on in many ways. But the most difficult thing for me to accept has been that because life still goes on...sad things keep happening.
"I wouldn't wish this upon anyone."
I have thought these words over and over in my head a million times. If only my thinking them could actually make them happen...but that is the tricky thing about life. We were sent here to be tested, to learn, to be stretched and moulded, strengthened and refined...the catch... we do not get to decide how that is done.
It was so easy for me to understand and to be at peace with the fact that this was my trial. This was going to push me as far as I could be pushed. I often tell people that this was a "forced growth spurt"..and then I add that I had to grow so fast it left behind stretch marks ha!
But I don't even know if I can describe the sorrow and ache that my heart feels when I hear of someone else receiving their trial. I sit there and my eyes well up with tears because I can relate to a tiny fraction of what that wife, mother, father, sister, brother, friend, etc. is feeling. That tiny fraction is more than anyone should ever have to feel.
While I sit here writing this I can think of numerous moments lately, after hearing of yet another tragic occurrence, in which I have stopped what I was doing and prayed. Prayed that the individual harmed would heal, or simply that they would live. Prayed that the family would feel comfort and that they would feel loved. And each time I have had to fight back the urge to scream out, "why?". Why do things like this have to happen? Why do we have to experience our trials in such drastic ways? Why can't one person's suffering be enough so that others do not have to experience the same or similar pain?
Well I know the answers to those questions. That is just how life works...but that doesn't make it any easier to accept.
It did not take very long after news spread of the accident for me to be engulfed in the arms of people who were choking back tears, not only because of what had happened, but because in their own way they had once felt this themselves. They had walked this path and they hurt for me as they watched me begin my journey. I remember very vividly the emails, texts, phone calls, and people that stopped me on the street. I think back on their words of comfort often. I remember not understanding why it was effecting certain people so much...now I know. They had once been me, and now they were standing on the sidelines watching it happen all over again. All they wanted to do was take away my pain, but they couldn't.
I have found that this is a very difficult place to be. It is hard to feel so much emotion at one time. It is so hard to accept that we cannot take the hit for others. Whether our trial be death, divorce, financial issues, health issues...the list goes on. Even though it has not been long, when I look back, I am grateful for what my trial has taught me thus far. I am grateful that I can relate to many that I could not before, and that I can send words of encouragement and love. It is my wish, that when others see me still trekking along, they will feel the urge to press on and do the same. So...
To those of you who are going through your trial at this time, know that there are SO many people around you sending their love and prayers your way. Your situation can influence someone so much more then you will ever know, and even influence complete strangers. Someone has walked the path you are walking now. It has been done. It is doable. We are all survivors in our own special way! One day you will look back and see the growth, the lessons learned, and how far you have come when you thought for sure you couldn't take another step. Just remember that you are never alone! So many others are fighting this battle right alongside you, and many of them are seasoned warriors. They all made it through, and so will you!
And to those of you who reached out to me in that critical time, and those who still continue to reach out... please know how much I appreciate you, and the impact that you have made on my life. I am forever changed but it has been for the better. I have been so blessed, and because of that I will never shrug off the responsibility I feel to give back to others what I have been given. I am humbled every day when I think of the army that has surrounded me to help me on my journey.
Thank you from the very bottom of my heart!
With love,
Dakota
And thank you Pinterest for the wonderful quote...
